Intuitive Eating – My Anorexia Recovery

Things are going very well for me, and on the whole my eating is now intuitive. I am able to select foods that I want to eat. Sometimes I have the foods that I want to eat, and other times I eat something that I fancy. I may eat out or I may cook at home, depending upon my other plans.

Here’s a salt and chilli beef which I cooked at home.

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Many places in London have Street vendors who sell a variety of foods. I’ve seen bubble waffles for a while, but I haven’t dared to have one until Saturday.

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It was delicious. Hot Nutella on the waffle, with chopped snickers, strawberry, cream, and more Nutella drizzled over the top.

I had this at snack time, but because the calories were so high I considered it to be lunch and had a snack at lunch time. My nutritionist was impressed that I was able to do so.

Photos As Research

I have been taking photos as I walk around London. These are part of my research for when I begin the degree in Photography with the Open College of the Arts.m. Square Mile is the first assignment. I’m considering shooting in The City and capturing the contrast between wealth and poverty.

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Open Art Collective At Lightbox Woking

Life has got away with me and I find myself writing up my review two weeks late.

It was a pleasure to walk into an exhibition and be able to identify 3 of the photographers by their photography. However, I am going to focus on two pieces that stimulated me, one mentally and one emotionally.

What I find most interesting is that I took the exhibition in over three stages. A brief initial viewing, a more in-depth reflective episode, and a third viewing so I could sit with my grief.

Keith Greenough’s exhibit was of a series of pairs of portraits. There were two photos of each model, There was a time difference of 45 seconds between the first and second portrait. I kinda ignored this series on my first viewing, but my god it drew me in second time around. The photos were almost identical, but then I began to see very slight changes of expression. A slight glint in an eye, a minor movement in the lips. It’s incredible how tiny movements of a muscle can alter expression, emotion and mood. I became fascinated by the models, what they may have been thinking or feeling, and considered how we are in a continuous state of flux. All of these minor waves of energy change the nature of who we are in any given moment. I don’t notice most of these subtle shifts. I define myself as being……. But in reality I cannot know all of the intricacies and inflections of my being. The passage of our lives are defined by the passing of seconds and minutes.

Teresa Lanham’s photography was an expression and journey through her experiences of grief, using macro photography of flowers. She says “The work became a way of re approaching my own life in standing still more often and just see what is there now rather than focusing on an unknown future.”

After my second viewing I went for lunch, and unexpectantly started to cry. Teresa’s photography triggered memories of a period of grief. When I grieve I have a need for space, I become overwhelmed by people, and I vanish fir days. I go to a certain place to reconnect with nature. It becomes a space that can contain my pain. Thank so much Teresa, I healed a little more.

To find out more about the Open Art Collective please visit their website here.

 

Assignment Five – The Process Of Making The Collages

Progress, I feel like I am getting somewhere. Making the collages has been fun, and once I have finished these I will need to create voice recordings for each, and buy the props that will complete the installations. It’s very exciting that I can now see how this will work. The only perceived difficulty is that the final pieces will not show off their full effect as a photo on my blog.

Step 1, making holes

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Step 2, stitching

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Step 3, taping the reverse side

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Step 4, cutting out objects and positioning

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Step 5, making more holes and more stitching

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Step 6, a finished collage

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Step 7, but matching props and photograph them as a still life in front of the collage

Step 8, make voice recording

Step 9, add voice recordings to each collage

My Emotional States Of Anorexia – Assignment Five Update

Yesterday I got 12 photos off to the picture framers for mounting. He understood where I needed the cut outs and why, and took an interest in my art. After speaking with him I felt really secure in the knowledge that he got what I needed.

I have begun the embroidery today. I’m starting with those I will be using for six collages, in which excerpts from Laura Letinsky’s I’ll Form And Void Full will be embroidered onto my face. I’m excited. I also know how I’m going to make the animal masks for my primary version.

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My Anorexia Recovery And Self Care

My recovery has developed very quickly since August. Initially I was on a weight gain regime, then onto maintenance, and now I’m learning some flexibility.

My nutritionist agreed that I could try a new food this week. We didn’t specify what that should be, but that I could choose┬áit on the day.

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Yesterday I ate at East Street in Rathborne Place, just off of Oxford Street in London. East Street has a menu of many Asian foods. I chose a hot and spicy Thai chicken dish with Jasmine rice. Now that’s the kind of food I want to eat more off. It was delicious. The service was quick, friendly and accommodating (I changed tables because I felt a draft where I initially sat), the food was tasty, and the restaurant was stylish.

I needed some new clothes, and purchased a fab pink jumper and matching pink shirt, pink really suits me, but my real self-care was buying a bath bomb and soap from Lush.

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This was a reward for me having the courage to follow my heart and move to London. The photo of the bath bomb isn’t good, but the bath was. I smell like a fizzy lemon. Truly lush.

It was cold and wet in London yesterday. Not my favourite conditions to be outside in, but there’s always a photographic opportunity if we seek it out.

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More Masks And Embroidery

Yesterday I had some free time to have a look around the Wellcome Collection. Most interesting was the one mask/collage which included some sewing over the top of photography. Produced by Heidi Kerrison, her collage related to fears in relation to cloning and genetic modification.

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Her work demonstrates that I could use both collage and embroidery to create the effects that I am looking for. I quite like the stitching around the edge of the face, it’s complex and detailed, but I don’t like the sewing around the eyes.

There were other masks which I found interesting, especially the scolds brindle. I could embroider a mask in this style, and add the tongue piece. It would work well to highlight the element of self punishment and restraint that I experienced as a result of my anorexia.

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