Yesterday was a day won. That I won. That we won. Yesterday I succeeded.
Yesterday I felt physically unwell and in distress, and was challenging mentally and emotionally. I went to bed drained and had nightmares that involved me being force fed, binging and people being intensely violent towards me. But yesterday was very much a successful day for me.
Despite my panic around calories and feeling the need to restrict my calories further, along with an obsession about binging, I did neither.
I stuck to the foods and calories that my eating disorder team and I have agreed. This is an achievement considering how I felt.
I was nurtured by my friend P and cousin L, and supported by you, my friends and fellow bloggers. I thankyou all so so much. I can’t express how much being nurtured and supported helped.
This old saying rings true:-
I alone can do it, but I cannot do it alone.
I can make no promises about today. I’ve woken up with the desires to binge and starve, and yet I feel much calmer and more positive, and I feel very grateful that yesterday was a successful day.