Firstly, I am looking for an eating disorders dietician who is willing to work over Skype. I had a look on google for dietitians in the UK and they were well beyond what I can afford. I have a contact page, so please feel free to contact me if you are in a position to help or point me in the right direction.
Secondly, today has been a big day for me. As far as I am concerned it is the first day of my recovery from Anorexia. Today I have sorted through and got rid of the food that I had hoarded from October last year til April this year.
It’s common for people to obsess about food when they have been lacking the food that they need to survive, and this is a common experience for people with Anorexia Nervosa. Hoarding food that isn’t going to be eaten is also a common experience.
I knew that I needed to get rid of it, and I also knew that it was hidden all over the house But it has shocked me just how much there was. I will be donating it to a local food-bank, and I have also taken some to one of my neighbours.
I had such a strong emotional attachment to my hoard. Before I have let friends visit or stay over, I have made it clear that the house is full of food and they are not to touch it. One friend has been encouraging me to get rid of it for ages, but I haven’t been able too, the thought of doing so has been terrifying.
Today there were some foods that I really didn’t want to let go of. I had to go through the pile that I was going to keep repeatedly so that I let go of foods that I didn’t need. There are a few things that I will genuinely use as snacks, so I have kept them, but it took a long time to get rid of the stuff that would never be a genuine snack. Some of the things that I was trying to justify keeping, but there is no such thing as half recovery, they had to go.
I have made videos as I have gone along, its part of the record of my journey, my illness and, fingers crossed, my recovery. I have received so much support from my peers, who have become my friends, and also from many fellow bloggers. I thank you all deeply. The turning points have been the sudden decline in my health whilst on holiday in London, and a kind friend pointing me towards a twelve step fellowship which is specifically for people with anorexia and bulimia. There are also a couple of vlogs that I have been pointed too by people who are in recovery or recovered from anorexia. I will add links to them below the video.
I am so grateful for all of your support, and today, I am grateful for my willingness, courage and strength. I am so proud of myself that I bought myself a bunch of flowers. I honour my willingness, courage and strength.
I have also stuck to my meal plan for the past two days. Cant believe it. Its so good to have done that. But the food that I eat is not nutritious, but I am stuck with the fear of trying other foods, which is why I need a dietician that specialises in eating disorders. I know how to eat healthy, but its needing someone to guide me through the fear and to take control of my eating plan.
Here are the links.
UK Based Eating Disorder Charities
Men and Boys Get Eating And Exercise Disorders Scotland
International Eating Disorder Charities
United States
Canada
India
Australia
Peer Support groups
Anorexics and Bulimics Anonymous
wishing you every success …..
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Thankyou so much Anthony.
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wishing you all the best in your recovery… you can do it!
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Thankyou. I really appreciate you taking the time to comment and wish me well.
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That’s really good to hear Richard, a good step forward on your journey to recovery, Judy x
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Thanks Judy. My progress has been chaotic. But I am making progress, and that’s what matters.
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I know I keep on saying it but keep it up Richard, each step is progress.
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Yes, it is. The progress I’ve made has been chaotic, but we only have one day, and today has been a good one.
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Very good, Richard 👏👏👏😘
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Thankyou Ana.
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Reward yourself with beauty – lovely thing, that.
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It sure is. Thanks Grace.
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You are a very brave, honest and strong person. You deserve flowers.
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Thankyou Ali. I’m so glad that I got them. Self appreciation is such an important thing for all of us.
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Good for you. I wish you all the support you need and am very proud of you for every step you are taking.
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Thankyou so much Donnalee.
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You are brave, and you are strong, Richard. I love the flowers. 🌸
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Thankyou Jennifer. The flowers are fab. Self care is so important.
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You’re doing great Richard.
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Thankyou so much Catherine. I have one additional behaviour linked to controlling my weight that I need to let go of.
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good for you. be proud of the steps you are taking. i know how scary they are. i relate to the issues of food, how much to have, which type. too much around is as bad as too little. the eating disorder likes to attack even uneaten food, calling it “wrong” for a variety of reasons that make little sense to those outside of the disorder. congratulations on challenging this issue. i hope you find a dietician who can work with you on this issue. i believe in you. you can do this.
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Thanks so much Michelle. The voice of an eating Disorder is a tiny voice that screams so loud. I actually ate a new food today. I had porridge for breakfast.
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That’s great. I love porridge – steel cut oats are a particular favourite, but any is good. it reminds me of breakfast when i was a kid.
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Me too, we had it often.
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Baby steps in the right direction. Be proud, be very proud.
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Thankyou
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Well done Richard. It’s great to hear you sounding more energised and positive. But do eat healthily. Find something every day that’s tasty and good for you. Keep on going.
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I think you are very brave … and such a nice man.
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Thankyou Adele. I found a therapist, I’m sticking to the meal plan and attending online 12step meetings daily. Early recovery has been exhausting.
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