My recovery from anorexia and bulimia is sometimes frustrating. With the aid of my nutritionist I am now eating. I’m eating healthier than I ever have done, and I enjoy it. But I’ve put on weight and I have that voice in my head calling me fat and disgusting. Despite this I binged last night.
I won’t compensate, I won’t purge, I’ll follow what I’m meant to eat today.
My eating disorder is not about food. It’s a symptom of my desire and need for control because I find life scary, intolerable at times. I want to change how I feel. Recovery is scary because my feelings come back, because my powerlessness over life comes back.
I will keep plodding on despite being scared. Despite my ups and downs. Two steps forwards and one step back is still a step forward.