I do experience bouts of intense paranoia, but I don’t believe that I have 2,000 people following me along the streets.
However, my blog now has over 2,000 followers, and for that I am most grateful. I like my blog, its a space for my photography, art and studies, and it is also an arena in which I share openly about my life. Sometimes deciding what to post and what to keep private can be quite challenging, especially when life is almost unbareable.
But I get there, and I also share my joys and successes. I feel able to be open about my achievements and to share my strengths as well. I’ve learned that it’s important to speak just as much about the good things and the outcomes of which I’m proud of, as it is to share my challenges. Often in life we are told that it’s arrogant to say “I did that well” or “I’m good at this”. It’s not arrogant at all, speaking of our successes is good for our mental health. World class sports people publicly analyse their strengths and weaknesses, and I believe its the right thing for all of us to do. To do otherwise is to hold a hammer of shame over all that we are good at.
This year has been a bit of a shit storm in some ways, with trying to end my life and its ongoing consequences, but it’s also had many positives for me. Moving to London, completing Foundations in Photography, starting the London Regional OCA group with B and H, and also meeting up with new people.
My suicide attempt has taken a lot out of me, I still have many medical appointments to attend. I’ve also found it hard to go out with my camera due to exhaustion, anxiety, paranoia, medical appointments, and now I’m walking with a crutch (one of the pressure sore’s is not healing properly).
But a big thanks to S.A who sent me a message yesterday to encourage me to go out with my camera. I did so today. I haven’t processed these as yet, so the photos in this post were taken on my Huawei P20 Pro.
Thankyou all for following my blog, and supporting and engaging with me. Your support has helped so much recently. Love and hugs xxxx🌸🤗😘