It’s All About Me When It Comes To My Emotions – Responding Not Reacting

It’s been a challenging week for me on many levels’. I felt hurt and frustrated by a friend’s behaviour and, have had a professional organisation failed to keep their commitment, and two professionals involved in my care are leaving their posts.

I find it very difficult to be authentic and express my emotions in response to somebody’s behaviour. However, I had to say something this week so that O could remain true to myself and protect my self esteem. My friend’s behaviour isn’t the issue, it’s my feelings that I need to focus on. It doesn’t matter how you behave, that’s your choice and your right, so if I feel upset or hurt in response to your behaviour that’s my responsibility. My telling you how I feel doesn’t mean that you have to change your behaviour. As your behaviour is your responsibility you can choose whether to act differently, or continue to behave as you are. This means that you can remain true to yourself.

Self-portrait in which I photographed myself as a reflection in a mirror.
(Please click on photo for a full size image) I am slowly becoming comfortable with displaying self portraits, but I still need to cover my face.

So this week I took responsibility for my emotions and spoke to my friend about how I was feeling with regards to our friendship. I did this in a manner that owned my feelings and didn’t blame her for my emotional reaction. In order to do this I needed to give myself a couple of days to allow my emotions to calm down and so that I could prepare what I wanted to say without it being an attack on her. It would have been so easy to react but that would have been damaging to both her and myself (There have been recent news stories about students trying to get their lecturers sacked because they have differences of opinion. This behaviour is completely inappropriate because it apportions blame rather than taking responsibility for your thoughts and feelings, it’s also very arrogant and self righteous).

With a professional organisation letting me down my approach is firmer, more descriptive and without emotional content. They have provided me with some software called Dragon Nuance, which is voice to text software, and am using this to write this blog today. They are currently training me how to use and make the most of this technique. I had an appointment with them which they failed to keep. I’m very pleased that in both instances I have been able to respond, to take responsibility for my thoughts and feelings without resorting to criticism or blaming them for how I feel.

(Please click on photo for a larger image) Macro photography is my mindfulness. It is something that I enjoy immensely and it also calms me down.

My eating disorder therapist has been off work for several months,. We had an appointment this week, during which she informed me that she is changing role in two weeks and I won’t have a therapist until the new person is in post. On top of this, the junior psychiatrist that I have been working with whilst my therapist has been off sick, is moving onto a new rotation in two weeks and I’ll have to get used to a new doctor. My care coordinator is also changing. I feel quite vulnerable with having these three changes at the same time.

Acceptance is the answer, and the only way of responding to these changes I don’t like and that I feel unsafe with. So my response is to allow my vulnerability to be as it is, and to discuss this with my friends as often as I need to.

By Thursday afternoon my thoughts were along the lines of “what else is going to go wrong today?”. So I wrote a gratitude list and made a note of all the things that had happened during the day which I felt grateful for, I spoke with a friend, and my mood and thoughts improved. Making some macro photography also helped to keep me focused straight after my psychiatric appointment.

(Please click on the photo for a full size image) Macro photography is my mindfulness. It is something that I enjoy enormously, and it also calms me down.

Big Thanks To “What You Blog About?”

Anar from What You Blog About? approached me last week to ask if I would like my blog to be featured on their site.

What You Blog About? features other blogs as a way of developing links and growing traffic within the WordPress community. As well as asking people if they would like their blog to be featured, Anar has a contact page in which you can submit your own blog, there are a couple of questions on the page so that you can write a brief introduction to your blog.

Here is the link to photosociology on What You Blog About?

Macro (18 of 38)

Review – The Better Picture Guide To Still Life And Close Up Photography

Buselle, M; 1999; The Better Picture Guide To Still Life And Close Up Photography; Crans-Pres-Celigny; RotoVision

Buselle is a film photographer and throughout the book he provides technical details about each presented photo – lens, filter, camera format and type of film. I can relate to lens, filter and camera format, however, the type of film I Kodachrome, Velvia is new to me, but fascinating none the less. My assumption is that the type of film (not its speed) combined with the filter works together in the way white balance does in digital photography. Film speed and ISO are the same.

The book covers different aspects of still life that includes the natural environment, food, flowers and plants, macro, and staged photos.

I found the sections that discuss lighting of huge benefit, especially as there are the occasional lighting plans that have been included as diagrams. It’s easy for me to lose some detail in photography because I have a personal preference for high contrast, but I can see how Busselle’s use of lighting and reflectors eases back the shadows and permits more detail to be seen.

Key learning points

  • Minimise colours where possible and appropriate to do so
  • Use a background which has a complimentary colour and texture
  • If you can’t find a suitable background then make one
  • If a multitude of colours are present i.e. a market stall then use a large aperture to reduce distractions and emphasise the colours
  • Take time to consider what it is you’re trying to present (he gives a pictorial example of the front of a wooden boat, it’s lettering and the reflection. Using the whole boat would be a chocolate box picture, whereas a tight crop emphasises the lettering on the wood and in the water)
  • Warm up filters (white balance set to shade) enable the photographer to make use of the sun and reduce the blues
  • Composition can make or break a still life, reduce subjects and props to a bare minimum, and introduce additional items with caution. Compliment the subject, don’t detract from it
  • Any subject can be turned into still life or macro. Move items around, change your position and the angle of the lens, experiment
  • Aperture, aperture, aperture. Match the aperture to the subject and the background, avoid distraction, enhance and compliment